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I’ve discovered that practicing Loving Kindness is the most efficient response to nearly every challenging situation, not a nicey-nicey way for avoiding the stickiness or discomfort, but a clearly, measurably superior practice for getting the best out of any episode. Here are some examples:

1. Someone lets you down or behaves ‘wrongly’ towards you: the kind approach both takes steps to protect oneself, (which is being kind to one’s own fragilities and removes exposure to stressful stimuli) and at the same time reframes ‘what they just did’ with a level of compassion and understanding which might include mitigating circumstances, perhaps even their ignorance, and reduces the judgments and self-righteousness which historically amplify the stress and conflict. You see? Efficient. And it doesn’t remove holding ourselves and others accountable, it merely changes the tone with which we state our boundaries. This way of communicating responsibly, kindly, will elicit much less resistance and pugnacity in whoever we are dealing with and lead to a quicker and more peaceful resolution.

2. I feel frustrated with myself: If at this moment I wake up to my kind nature instead of adding to the stress with negativity and self-judgement, instead of unconsciously feeding the loop of demotivation and powerlessness, I speak kindly to my reactive fragility, even physically rub my chest kindly, all with an attitude of patience and ‘no-big’deal’ then the chemicals in my body settle down very quickly. Efficient. I will be more motivated to take positive action and self-care in ways which lift me and strengthen my next step forward.

3. I am scared about the future of the planet: Kindness is most efficient here. Fighting in opposition to the forces of destruction seems to feed them with more resolve. Making a human connection with those who are closed-hearted and addicted to quick money, amplifying their sense of humanity is the only thing which will make sustainable change. Seizing power and watching the ‘baddies’ go down in flames often leaves the door open for the same immature and negative structures to replace the old ones.

4. Someone I care about is struggling: I’ve never seen ‘tough-love’ work apart from in extreme, self-harming cases. People respond best to kind encouragement and when we play a part in their unburdening and re-motivation, we also receive the great gift of having our generosity and care received, which is one of the most nourishing experiences available on this planet. Both benefit. Efficient.

What other ways can you share here where Kindness is the most efficient path?

~

Come and explore with me all over UK and the World at jamiecatto.com/workshops

Hi,

I wrote a post recently that I’d like to share with you because it struck me how central to all my events and workshops this idea is, and says so much about what I want to change in the world.

”Lazy’ is a word for those poor souls who still think achievement and productivity is important and who can’t yet get comfortable with simply Being. if you have given yourself permission to achieve absolutely nothing in this life then it might wind those people up who are still addicted to productivity and getting somewhere. They might judge you in the area where they don’t feel free yet.
If someone calls you Lazy, take pity on them. They often don’t have the capacity to allow themselves peace unless they’ve earned it – which usually means they won’t allow themselves to receive Love unless they’ve earned it.
They might need a rest.’

The state I am describing above is the MOST efficient state to be in if you want to channel genius inspiration, creatively or otherwise. It’s only in the SPACE and the ‘not-doing’, that our Yin receptivity has a chance to receive and hear and be impacted by the next wonderful idea or the best plan of action. Plans of action are carried out by our Yang ‘doing’, our use of our will, but that efficient part of us only works best when directed by the Yin receptivity that hears and receives the greatest notions and clearest directions from somewhere, (let’s just say, that is not the ego driven front-mind). It might be our unconscious, it might be the muse in the wall – but wherever we hear it from, it won’t be our will, or our addiction to productivity, or our busy-ness that brings in the real gold. Our Yang ‘will’ will carry it out once the message has been received, but the treasure map is discovered in the yin.

And that’s not just for creative projects, it’s for our intimate relationships, our parenting, and nearly everything that’s precious to us, the above seems to apply. So on the workshops I’m churning out all the different ways our Yin has efficient, game-changing results and applications. It’s like turning on lots of apps you had inside you that have been lying dormant. Even the hourly practice of placing both hands on your belly, going still, and asking ‘How do I feel? What do I need?’ is an insanely life-changing thing to do for even 3 days! So that post got me going and I had to write to you.

Maybe I’ll see you online or at a workshop sometime – if you have any areas of your life that need adjusting or unblocking, I probably have just the right App for you, and it’s already in you just needing to be activated. Sounds whacky, but it’s true. I will show you how to turn it on.

try the belly thing and message me if you need a thing,

love Jamie

jamiecatto.com/workshops
jamie

Everything starts healing by itself when I discard my mind’s first interpretation of what just hurt or worried me and catch myself (just in time!) to refrain from assuming the negative version that my mind just offered is ’the truth’.

The framing of what just happened is everything. My pessimistic or victim-led thinking, leaping in as a kind of immature and panicked self-protection, has sold itself as ‘real’ for so long I never used to question it, but I’ve learnt that on closer inspection, it’s the ‘meanings’ I add to ‘what just happened’, not so much the thing itself, that really hurts me, and nearly ALL of the time I am misinterpreting others’ intentions.

“That means they don’t love me.”

“That means they don’t respect me.”

“That means they don’t care about my feelings.”

“That means I’m worthless or a failure.”

“That means I’m unwelcome.”

None of it means that. You hear me?

When I stay present and awake in those moments and notice my body reactions and negative thinking trying to seduce me, I am less quick to get sucked in. I remember that I can also choose to consider giving them or the catastrophic version the benefit of the doubt, suspend judgement, even dare an optimistic attitude for once? A least a more balanced view – even when the reactive churning is taking place.

Do they really have no respect for your feelings? Or might they have just been tired or distracted that day with their own melodrama?

Let’s let each other, and ourselves, off the hook! I’m calling an amnesty for all knee jerk pessimism and overreaction this weekend, startingggggggggggg….

NOW!

(See you next weekend in Totnes and Exeter or join me Monday for the Sacred Fool adventure)

jamiecatto.com/workshops

Consent has thankfully become a huge topic of late.

Do you take consensuality seriously?

Do you ever find yourself trampling your own boundaries to please or rescue another?

Do you ever skip checking in with yourself that you’re really a ‘yes’ before you say ‘yes’ to a favour or an invitation?

When you feel resistance about going somewhere, do you ever drag that scared part of you along, because you think you SHOULD go, without having an inner dialogue with that scared part of yourself first and asking what it needs to feel safe about going?

Do you take your SELF-consensuality seriously or only apply that sensitivity and respect to others?

come to a 1-day exploration in Devon, Exeter, Chester, Manchester, London, Norwich, (or longer retreats inCorfu or Nepal) – jamiecatto.com/workshops

Hi,

I am so excited to announce that I’m running an exquisite 4-day retreat in Arillas, Corfu at a wonderful venue right by a gorgeous, quiet beach! What a life! Come and hang out with me and bunch of gentle, unpretentious people and explore our shadows lightly while eating delicious food, laughing together, going deep (but no deeper than is comfortable) and reclaiming decades of lost power, creativity and intimacy in all areas of our lives.

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I absolutely LOVE this place and the wonderful people who run it. Mellow vibes, good conversations, warm ocean and beaches and lazy evenings under the stars. I don’t know what else to say about it except that there are limited places – without trying to sell you with scarcity – I have to operate a ‘first come first served’ system.

For more information and prices with or without accommodation packages contact:
Arianna on +30 690 7530762 or email her at wearamantra@gmail.com

Hope you can make it!

Jamie

Please keep an eye on my website as we are adding new workshops all the time.

Here are a few:

6 April 219 – INSANELY GIFTED – Totnes
7 April 2019 – TRANSFORMING SHADOWS – Exeter
27 April 2019 – INSANELY GIFTED – Manchester
28 April 2019 – WHAT ABOUT US? – Chester
4 May 2019 – INSANELY GIFTED – London
5 May 2019 – WHAT ABOUT YOU? – London
1 June 2019 – TRANSFORMING SHADOWS – Amsterdam
15 June 2019 – WHAT ABOUT US? – Bristol
16 June 2019 – INSANELY GIFTED – Glastonbury

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Jamie blog

“We’re goin’ on a monster hunt
We’re going to catch a big one,
I’m not scared
What a beautiful day!”

We FARKING LOVE this sacred fool – just watch his lovely face. He says SSHHWISH SWOSSSH really well.

If you don’t have kids or you weren’t a kid once, you will not know what we are on about. But definitely watch this video.

I DIGRESS…Tomorrow, Sunday and Monday we are putting on a little mini weeeeeee course for free. To do it you will only need between 20 – 40 minutes each day. Peasy. Super peasy.

I know, I know…. we already told you about it yesterday. But maybe you weren’t in the mood. Or you got distracted. Because Life.

You can sign up here and spread the love through all the normal things we all do now (insta, FB, talking to people occasionally etc…)

Love you big

Jamie and Lisa

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Hi,

I will be meandering down to Bournemouth this Sunday and I would love to see you for my What About Us? workshop – a deeper connection with everyone in your life especially yourself.

Two things that I would like to remind you about;

1. NHS staff are welcome FOR FREE

2. There are a range of bursaries available so please don’t let money keep you away.

I really hope you can make it.

Love Jamie

Please keep an eye on my website as we are adding new workshops all the time.

Here are a few:

6 April 2019 – INSANELY GIFTED – Totnes
7 April 2019 – TRANSFORMING SHADOWS – Exeter
27 April 2019 – INSANELY GIFTED – Manchester
28 April 2019 – WHAT ABOUT US? – Chester
4 May 2019 – INSANELY GIFTED – London
5 May 2019 – WHAT ABOUT YOU? – London
1 June 2019 – TRANSFORMING SHADOWS – Amsterdam
15 June 2019 – WHAT ABOUT US? – Bristol
16 June 2019 – INSANELY GIFTED – Glastonbury

Unsubscribe | Update your profile | 173 Cuddesdon Road, Horspath, Oxford OX33 1JB