Many of you have recently heard me expounding the virtues of making sure I have my ‘8 bowls of fulfilment’ well tended to. 8 areas of life which feed me healthily. The idea is that I don’t become dependent on any one of them (usually my relationship bowl) to be the source of my ‘everything is ok’ feeling.
When I only count the ‘sex and romance’ part of my life as the ‘bowl’ which determines how good life is today, (and then when it’s rocky my life is rocky, and when it’s smooth my life is smooth), I suffer and find myself starving and dependent. The same goes for using ‘earning money’ or ‘success’ as the ‘everything’s ok’ source. When work’s going well you’re happy but when business is slow suddenly you can’t relax. What I’ve discovered is that when I spread my fulfilment through 8 other areas equally, suddenly I am always full and not graspingly dependent on any one area to ‘keep me feeling safe’.
In my old model of mainly focusing on the climate in my relationship as ‘everything’, (or the reassuring mirror of money and success) I really let a lot of vital things slide, not least my close friendships, my ‘chosen family’. I realised fairly recently that I had got myself into a pattern where everyone I saw was either one of my kids or a client. I had unwittingly starved myself of my essential, supportive and wonderful friendships. So I set to remedying that at once, reclaiming contact with those I love and along the way I discovered and re-filled many other sources (or bowls) of contentment and fulfilment which are now the true sustenance of my daily life.
Here are the bowls which feed me:
1) Friendship
2) Connected time with my kids
3) My love of music, literature and film
4) My creative productivity., writing, music, film…
5) My spiritual path of being tenderly punked and illuminated by my crazy angels.
6) Service and being helpful to whoever’s in need.
7) Time alone and in nature.
8) Body care, home-keeping and cooking.
…and of course not discounting sexy, sensual, intimate possibilities…just not necessarily making them a primary bowl by default. I keep these other bowls full and the connections alive – so I feel full, even in the emptiness (which, by the way, is also full – of ideas).
What are your bowls? Can you take some direct actions to keep more of them brimming with soul-nourishment for you?
