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Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

I was looking at my penis today, applying some oil and care, and it struck me very sadly how much I have enslaved my cock and my sexuality in my life. I have treated it as if its job was to deliver me certain things, things which are beyond its intended offering and function.
Using my cock to please women and ‘be a great lover’ and deliver lots of pleasure and satisfaction so I can feel sexually powerful or even just adequate, is a form of enslavement of the cock, and I’ve been feeling some sadness around that today, some regret. The pressure to ‘deliver’.
Of course, all the beautiful connected sex is not in the same realm, but the times I’ve used sex, either with a woman or by myself, to fill a gap, avoid space or edgy feelings, avoid loneliness, make me feel powerful, make me feel lovable or special, to prop me up…..that was not what my glorious cock was born for. I want to apologise to my penis and all cocks of the World for the unconscious ways we have sent them on ‘missions’ they were never trained for.
It’s not the cock’s job to get it’s man a sense of well-being, sexual prowess, pride, safety from rejection, safety from humiliation, self-worth, inclusion or any of the other things I’ve leant on it for over the course of my life.
Let’s stop enslaving the cock, or the vagina.
I’m treating my cock with much more care now. I’m no longer using it as a tool of my unconsciousness, of a tool of my avoidance and escape of emotional and ancestral wounding, as a tool of compensation for the spaces and edges in my masculinity.
So a new journey of deeply respecting my cock in a much more aware and focused way begins.
Will you join me? Men and women? To no longer enslave our penises and vaginas to ‘get our needs met’, to escape, to fill gaps, to prop us up or ‘get’ us anything? Can we love each other’s sexual parts with that respect and care too?
To keep the love and sex as a celebration of this moment only, this intimacy, here and now…..let’s not blame culture, let’s build our new culture as of now, no longer unconsciously prostituting our sexuality to fulfil roles and needs it wasn’t meant for.
Together.

If we don’t care for our fragile sexuality in this way, how can we ever be trusted with our boundaries? Won’t they always be at the mercy of the next ‘need’ that has to be fulfilled? Safety in relationships, both with others, and with ourselves comes from trust. We will be able to manifest that kind of conscious environment within which we can thrive by dissolving the parts of our sexuality that we’ve enslaved.
Please share your experiences in this…

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It stands to reason that in love-making, on the surface at least, it is the woman, ‘the penetrated one’, who holds the vulnerability. After all, having a man push himself into your most sacred and sensitive opening is about the most surrendered and yielding experience one can imagine. So it’s understandable that while women are in the ‘receiving’ role sexually, and are also usually less physically strong than their male partners, the vulnerability is held by the women. I’d like to connect with you deeper in this vulnerability and share something I haven’t spoken about before.

It is extremely vulnerable for us men to be the ‘penetrator’ too. As much as we work on raising our sensitivities and empathy to women, unless we enjoy our own anal penetration, we don’t know what it’s like to be ‘pushed into’. Today, the social climate around men’s sexuality includes a lot of past trauma from abusive and violent sex or just insensitive or immature men of previous generations who had no clue what they were doing to their women. Today’s women bear the scars of past, male-dominated, unfeeling sexual experiences and it has only been very recently that the law and society’s moral compass has even acknowledged a woman’s right so say “No” even in the middle of sex and even if she’s married to the man she’s having sex with. Unbelievably, still, in most countries there is no law against a man raping his wife. She has no legal right to refuse him and no legal protection if he rapes her. Even in USA and UK the law has only been passed to protect married women in the last 50 years or so, and across Asia and Africa they think I’m crazy to even bring the subject up.

So the idea that men could be the vulnerable ones in love-making may sound puzzling at first. But I want to express that as a man, carrying the burden of women’s often negative expectations and the ever-felt sexual wounds of all mistreated women of the past, creates a very unique and sensitive vulnerability of it’s own – for the men. Perhaps it could be likened to German grandchildren of the Nazis who themselves played no part in the abuses of WW2 but in the post war decades couldn’t help being tarred by the same brush and unjustly carrying some of the guilt and rejection.

Men carry the shame of our abusive, sexually incontinent forefathers and we don’t want to bring that trauma into the bedroom any more. It’s in the way of us having incredible, heart-bursting sex with you.

Today, if you are man with any degree of sensitivity, it is a vulnerable thing to penetrate a woman. I don’t want to abuse you, trigger you into past trauma or in any way mistranslate your wants or needs. I would hate to accidentally touch you in a way that jarred you or misread your passion. So, if you notice my hesitancy or any held-back-ness, please do not translate this as any lack of desire on my part. I may be waiting for a clearer invitation.

Women, please invite us clearly and unmistakably to make love with you. Only when we are certain that your invitation is wholehearted and clear can we melt into devotional service to your pleasure. We need to be total, unbridled by doubt, to allow the strength of our male physicality to take you. We want to explode you into light and usher you to the door where you can dissolve into pure sex with the Big Spirit – in the field that is beyond us both, but until we are certain that Your invitation is total, we can’t surrender to giving you our gifts fully.

Your vulnerability is my vulnerability. Let’s melt deeper into it together and heal the past traumas with our love-making.

 

 

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When you are next Pleasuring yourself, and you feel those first ripples of warmth and arousal begin to rise between your legs, try allowing those waves to slowly expand and spread beyond your usual pleasure zones. Feel the warm energy of pleasure radiate out from between your legs and spread through your belly, and consciously inhale all that rich turned-on-ness deep into your body. Let it fill you entirely with each deepening breath. The arousal can build rapidly and deeply. Direct the pleasure with your breath and really allow the tilt of your hips to pull the horniness through your whole body. Feel how powerfully healing and energising this pleasure force can be, filling you.

As you are touching yourself, with every rising wave of desire, breathe that wave further through your whole body, inhaling it deep to your core. Let it reach to the ends of your fingertips and toes. Your whole body and mind becomes one pleasure centre. Staying with the breath, as the arousal builds, allow yourself to open even more to the waves, consciously surrendering, as that exquisite turned-on-ness saturates you.

Now feel the crown of your head mirror the deep seated pleasure below and open your whole body for an even stronger current to move through you. Let each growing wave energise and heal and light up every cell of your body in health and power. Feel every pore drink in the pleasure and fill you with limitless creativity.

If you want to take it even further you can beam the pleasure out of you from all directions to connect to anyone or anywhere at all. Send the super-powered force of it to dissolve any limitations, disease or suffering anywhere on the planet. As you send it, actually see the energy do it’s transformational work with your mind, watch the place you send it to transform and heal in your imagination.

We have the power to do this Now. Pleasure is transformative and is available to be directed to creative, healing and passionate uses at any time.

Tune in and transform your World with your pleasure…

…and do please share your experiences below.

All Intimacy and Creative workshops and Talks at www.jamiecatto.com

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This is a blog for women who care about men being attracted to them visually (though not only visually).

Ladies, I feel compelled to fill you in on a great truth! You are being lied to about the importance of your weight when it comes to attracting men! Would you be surprised to learn that for us men, it is FAR more central to our attraction to you that you hold yourself beautifully than how curvy you are. I know many women who, to those diet and weight-obsessed among you, might be considered ‘overweight’, yet to me, if they hold themselves beautifully, they are MILES more attractive than a thin women who slumps in her seat, or walks droopily. If a woman holds herself confidently, with grace and aligned posture, her attractiveness shines through no matter how much she weighs. Of course there are some clinically-obese women who some would acknowledge fall outside of this category but within the scope of the un-clnicallly obese, you would be amazed at how posture is the REAL factor in visual attraction for us men, not weight.

You could have a trim, fit, healthy body which fits the accepted dimensions of the female-read Gloss Magazines criteria for sexiness but if you slump in your seat, hold yourself poorly and walk with no grace, you will be far less attractive to a man than a woman who is curvier, weighs more but holds herself with confidence and elegance.

When I see promises of miracle diets on your magazines I always despair and think to myself: if these women spent half as much time addressing their posture as they did agonising about their weight then all their perceived man-attracting problems would be solved!

Please try it for a week. Balance a book on your head, think to yourself ‘how would a totally confident woman sit in this chair? – how would she walk down this street? How would she enter this room?’ – practice these kinds of questions and experiments and I promise you you will be amazed at the difference. You will receive compliments from men and women all over the place, often mistaking your new radiance for weight loss!

Please, on behalf of all men, give this idea a try and share with us below any results.

P.S. please don’t write to me to tell me that visual attraction is a shallow thing with which to concern oneself. We all know a real, connected, present relationship is not based on the visual attraction alone.

Info for both Jamie’s Creative and Intimacy weekends at http://www.jamiecatto.com – turn right at the crossroads

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In France they call an orgasm a ‘petit mort’ – little death – I love this because yes, an Orgasm is the moment when Heaven and Earth touch for an instant, when we become at once no one and everyone. When I am with my Lover and she falls off that edge into those ecstatic waves, my focus and attention in those next moments is as fully attentive and present as in the journey we’ve both just taken to reach that peak together, perhaps even more so.

At the moment when my lover comes I feel her at the doorway to all her highest and most magical possibilities, I see light streaming in and all the limitations of her purely earthly life melt away. Her whole being floats in those instants in the ocean of ‘All That Is’ unbound by any beliefs or limits of the everyday. My great honour is to hold that space for her, to surround her with all the peace and magic I can invisibly bring, like a protective cocoon, empowering and guarding that perfect, fragile space as she gently re-inhabits her earthly body again, renewed and elevated to her next fully realised incarnation.

This energy is reciprocal. I am also transported into my own limitless possibilities when I come and my Lover holds me in that space. She becomes the whole of the nurturing Earth, her arms encircling me hold me in all my vulnerable, naked, unguarded rawness. At that moment I have the possibility to reawaken from the raw elemental ocean as my own highest idea of myself too.

I haven’t always felt ready to allow in that safety. For one thing, when I’ve felt my own orgasm approaching I’ve often moved my rhythm or sexual energy to prolong the love-making, delay coming. My first question which has unconsciously arisen, still resonating with an outdated yet primal paradigm, has been ‘Has it been long enough yet? Is she satisfied?’ Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the Taoist controls and disciplines to give and receive everlasting pleasure, but so many times, when I’ve come earlier than I wanted to, it has been accompanied by a feeling of failure or shame, wondering if I didn’t do it well enough, so now, when I come, the shift is palpable. It has been a journey to really fully allow myself to be held in that sacred space, so open and unguarded. To both be a strong man and also melt into my tenderness, control-free, totally vulnerable.

This surrender has only recently arrived in my life. My Lover offers me total love and acceptance. She holds me in my wholeness, without any head-trips, loving me beyond any of my old ideas about myself, fully sharing the limitless abundance with me.

Every moment offers us the possibility to step into a more realised version of ourselves. An Orgasm magnifies this opening like a portal and there we can be with each other in the doorways and on the bridges, letting old things fall away, allowing new energy in.

This is what I feel we can be for each other in those moments. This is our gift to each other as Lovers, as Kings and Queens of the infinite.

Wishing you all a sexy, intimate week. Please write to me and share your experiences.Please join the facebook group Woodsmen For Women and share more about this and all subjects of intimacy and connection…

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Painting of the Entrance To Heaven by Hieronymus Bosch

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