‘Egos Trying to Act More Like Souls’ and how I feel right now

What I’m noticing right now is that, to me, a lot of this ‘path teaching’ business is trying to hook in those who want to get ‘enlightened’ as quickly as possible, no different from the accomplishment-driven brainwashing of the ego’s early conditioning. I actually saw an advert today for an ‘Accelerate Your Spiritual Growth’ workshop. SO paradoxical!

The part of us that IS enlightened doesn’t care a jot for getting anywhere quickly, accomplishing something huge, getting to any imagined finish-lines. It’s just…right…here….now…..in one single fully conscious breath, here we are…whenever you want it. I find it dodgy to use the slave-driven ego as a way to hook in customers because the whole notion of selling that paradigm is actually taking folks in the opposite direction. Recently I’ve been wondering about all the games and techniques I teach on my workshops and I want to be really careful to facilitate the natural, friendly part of us that is just…Presence…not busy….just loving and peaceful….not recounting the suffering stories and events….or needing to achieve something special, like enlightenment….just the gentle, friendly part that is right here…..let’s take one breath together now….and here we are….simple…

….to me enlightenment is loving ourselves without the expectations, or self-disappointments of ‘somewhere to get to’…just the permission to be totally relaxed in the here and now with no to-do lists invading the moment…even if what’s around in the present moment is edgy or unexpected or challenging, still a continuous base level of undistracted friendliness and surrender to whatever’s going on, including the urge to help what’s going on if that’s an option, including it all….

….so that Presence which I can feel behind all the busyness of my self-cherishing life, that quiet place where my name and my individual experiences, and all I’ve learned, and all that I think and strategise and control, are meaning-less, just no big deal, they are affectionately loved but not made a big deal of any more than the whining or tantrums of a toddler….(it’s expected to do that sometimes and we allow it patiently without feeding it……) ….that gentle Presence behind my name which gives a loving context to all the touchy drama IS the real gift that I feel we’re here to deliver…and I feel careful that I now want to make sure my games and processes aren’t just teaching finish-line driven egos to behave more like Souls.

Now, games and new habits can create a lifestyle where there’s so much Presence and patience and tender humour that the old distractions and sucker-punches of triggery, reactive, adrenaline-driven parts of the day are no longer battled but just accepted without drama, even big waves, felt hugely, but still just passing through, not held and examined and ‘kept so close’…..and when they’re allowed to come and go without a big to-do, our natural, upwelling fountain of inspiration and generosity and genius just gushes out of us effortlessly…innately…

…so I want us to more, when we gather in our groups, to feel together that Presence that affectionately observes our busy ego running around and has zero expectation of need for it to be any different. It’s expected to be volatile, like the sea being some days calm and some days choppy or even stormy at times….it’s the sea, we never expect it to be other than it is….so when big waves come in our lives, we don’t jump into an attitude of shock and ‘oh no! something’s wrong!’…No….we just say ‘ooh that was a big one’, and even ‘ouch that was strong…wait a sec…’ and just let it rise and fall in us without resistance.

It’s the resistance of the ‘controlling bodyguard’ in us that wants us to never have to endure any discomfort that blocks tough waves coming through and actually makes them more painful and last longer…with analysis, and control, and complaint, and rejection of the feeling….once again….go soft, Be the Presence that just watches it patiently as it rises and falls….(and fully feels compassion for the ouch of it if it’s a painful one)….

Let’s let go of the idea of any accelerated Path to Enlightenment – let’s just really be willing to feel, without fuss, the big and small waves of this moment, fully, savouring all of it with fascination, no agenda to get rid of anything or escape anything….or get somewhere else other than here….

….where are you going on your path? we’re already right here…just being in Presence where we don’t need our names or ‘what we do’ or ‘what we’ve achieved’….and there we notice there’s no clear edge where you end and I begin…

www.jamiecatto.com