Enslaving The Cock

I was looking at my penis today, applying some oil and care, and it struck me very sadly how much I have enslaved my cock and my sexuality in my life. I have treated it as if its job was to deliver me certain things, things which are beyond its intended offering and function.
Using my cock to please women and ‘be a great lover’ and deliver lots of pleasure and satisfaction so I can feel sexually powerful or even just adequate, is a form of enslavement of the cock, and I’ve been feeling some sadness around that today, some regret. The pressure to ‘deliver’.
Of course, all the beautiful connected sex is not in the same realm, but the times I’ve used sex, either with a woman or by myself, to fill a gap, avoid space or edgy feelings, avoid loneliness, make me feel powerful, make me feel lovable or special, to prop me up…..that was not what my glorious cock was born for. I want to apologise to my penis and all cocks of the World for the unconscious ways we have sent them on ‘missions’ they were never trained for.
It’s not the cock’s job to get its man a sense of well-being, sexual prowess, pride, safety from rejection, safety from humiliation, self-worth, inclusion or any of the other things I’ve leant on it for over the course of my life.
Let’s stop enslaving the cock, or the vagina.
I’m treating my cock with much more care now. I’m no longer using it as a tool of my unconsciousness, of a tool of my avoidance and escape of emotional and ancestral wounding, as a tool of compensation for the spaces and edges in my masculinity.
So a new journey of deeply respecting my cock in a much more aware and focused way begins.
Let’s no longer enslave our penises and vaginas to ‘get our needs met’, to escape, to fill gaps, to prop us up or ‘get’ us anything? Can we love each other’s sexual parts with that respect and care too?
To keep the love and sex as a celebration of this moment only, this intimacy, here and now…..let’s not blame culture, let’s build our new culture as of now, no longer unconsciously prostituting our sexuality to fulfil roles and needs it wasn’t meant for.
Together.

If we don’t care for our fragile sexuality in this way, how can we ever be trusted with our boundaries? Won’t they always be at the mercy of the next ‘need’ that has to be fulfilled? Safety in relationships, both with others, and with ourselves comes from trust. We will be able to manifest that kind of conscious environment within which we can thrive by dissolving the parts of our sexuality that we’ve enslaved.
Please share your experiences in this…

www.jamiecatto.com/workshops

21 comments

  1. This is powerful stuff. Yes, I recognise the tendency – obsession sometimes – of using my cock like the ultimate comfort blanket, and when it’s not erect and giving me pleasure (notice me, not her) I dismiss it for letting me down by being too small.

    And don’t get me started on my balls – providers of the seed that made my two gorgeous daughters, but too small, too tight, too unmanly.

    I am inspired by your words to honour what I have.

  2. Thank you, divine awake man. For daring to bring forward what needs to be said by a man. Overt sexualization of ourselves and others has to stop. So much pain has endured as a result of this deep conditioning and suffering of the ancestors. Is it time to rise up and evolve past this human condition and conditioning, so that we may once again run free in our nakedness like children with no shame. Love. x

  3. You said “things which are beyond its intended offering and function”. What is “its intended offering”? And what is its “intended function”? Intended by whom?

      • thank you. so, what’s the answer? You regret that you “treated it as if its job was to deliver me certain things, things which are beyond its intended offering and function”, yet don’t mention what you consider its intended function to be.

  4. I welcome the erect and beautiful Cockerel as a essential member of our ‘humanity’ which worships the hen of its feminity (my vagina). They both meet and – when they have no agenda but to be together in sacred unity there is the merest delicious possibility of a coming together, an eternal orgasm being experienced in the body… where identity dissolves and we are all lover, beloved and the lovingness itself. No function, no offering – just being.

  5. I consider all the issue stuff you write about as part of The Fuck.
    For sure, presence transforms everything….and pure presence… Absolutely, go all the way. Why would you not? Let us all sail on the ocean of bliss.
    Well you might not, because of the physical world, and all the bullshit that goes with it. But the world of fuck has robust and transformative tendencies.
    Embrace it all, I reckon. Issues are like babies, once they feel loved up and accepted they give you space.
    Aloha

  6. Inspiring words and yes, this is relevant to both men and women! We all need to take responsibility for the unlearning of the western concept of sex. To embrace our true sexual identity, one of sacredness and unity. Blessings to you ❤

  7. Good read 🙂 How many projections and memories can be stored in just one precious organ of the body, personally and collectively… So beautiful when we can consciously relate to (parts of) the body, let it speak to us. Cooperate, love. Nice to read about the experience of having a cock; I am always curious what it’s like to live in a man’s body. Thank you

  8. Thank you! I teach women’s sacred healing through tantra yoga and embodiment classes. It is great to hear some gold from a man’s perspective, I think women need to hear this too, as we can project a lot of negativity onto men and their cocks. I like to think of my man’s penis as a wand of light – it helps me receive his love fully, and give it back to him amplified. Shifting the way we think changes everything!

  9. Yes, I recognize this. Masturbation becomes so frequent and not even pleasurable, filling gaps. I feel it needs to coincide with a wider consciousness of healthier bodies rather than treating the penis in isolation as that can lead to further othering of the penis.

  10. Totally awesome. My mantra was something like this…

    I’m just good at sex.
    It’s my hobby. My passion. My sport.

    All true but sex is the distraction. My emotions are not there to be touched nearly as easily.

  11. Dick – an oral account

    Now I lay my dick on the table
    and talk to it.
    Without the table dicks
    look floppy, forlorn, even shy.
    They need to look at least
    Attentive.
    Recently I nudged abandon
    But
    My dick jacked up
    After years of servicing abuse
    It had had enough.

    Trust had become an issue
    Along with the rest of the
    Man caravan
    Pride, impatience, loss of laughter
    (Temporary) stubbornness (again)
    An inability to let go. To accept.

    Now I say, “Dick,
    I accept that being hard isn’t everything.
    That not being hard can be fun
    And the prospect of getting hard is real.”
    It isn’t enough.
    “Dick you get hard for me.
    Don’t you care to share with someone else?”

    And my dick,
    Like another me from long ago, is silent.
    There is stillness in the air.
    A fly buzzes and lands on my dick.
    I stare at it.
    It rubs its legs as though commencing
    To dig or eat.
    I wave my arm – stiff, dick-like.
    It goes away.
    My dick is silent.
    I begin to hum:
    “some enchanted evening”
    and put it away

    At least I am alive.
    “My God why am I telling you this?”
    I watch tears at the end of my fingers.

    2003

    • Well That’s from the god damn heart! Just Beautiful – Go You you lovely Man! I Adore seeing You/men share stuff like this – affirms my absolute love of men – not that’s ever been really shakey to be honest – I had the most loving father,-and my great fortune (perhaps because of that?) I always have amazing men in my life, and now my 2 sons. Thank you for sharing your Heart – touches me your courage x

  12. Sexual slavery is just a corner of the insane levels of objectification humanity has reached… in the quest to feel ‘ok’ when we can never feel
    ‘Ok’ as long as we remain separate…

    Yes I will join you… in becoming SIMPLE

    ..in allowing the vagina..

    which is not a thing or a place but just a part of the whole vibrating human who is but apart of a whole pulsating universe which is but a part…

    Allowing… which is close to being… which is much closer to nature than the achieving mind.. the need to achieve something anything.. in order not to melt and dissolve..

    When my beloved enters me… the entire history of mans inadequacy inferiority rage curiosity enters me… its undisguisable… when space is given… our history speaks without words or time.. it’s felt and known… yes let “my vagina” and my arms which will surround you… my listening heart which will also wait and be present with you… be vast and patient enough to eradicate all mans pain…. we are not separate… there is no duality.. no man without woman….

    I bow to the sacred lingam… honor your vulnerability and willingness to give…. the light … thank you .. and always waiting ..

  13. This breaks my heart – in a beautiful way – I have two sons – I see the male wounding and strive to battle/encompass that in them. For All you beautiful males out there, perhaps struggling with how to be both the ‘male’ and the sensitive being … trust me there are many, many women who gets this crazy dance We do … Jamie – You are brave. Thank you x

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